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Tell Me Everything You Don't Remember

The Stroke That Changed My Life

ebook
4 of 4 copies available
4 of 4 copies available

A memoir of reinvention after a stroke at age thirty-three.

Christine Hyung-Oak Lee woke up with a headache on the morning of December 31, 2006. By that afternoon, she saw the world—quite literally—upside down. By New Year’s Day, she was unable to form a coherent sentence. And after hours in the ER, days in the hospital, and multiple questions and tests, her doctors informed her that she had had a stroke. 

For months afterward, Lee outsourced her memories to a journal, taking diligent notes to compensate for the thoughts she could no longer hold on to. It is from these notes that she has constructed this frank and compelling memoir.

In a precise and captivating narrative, Lee navigates fearlessly between chronologies, weaving her childhood humiliations and joys together with the story of the early days of her marriage; and then later, in painstaking, painful, and unflinching detail, the account of her stroke and every upset—temporary or permanent—that it caused. 

Lee illuminates the connection between memory and identity in an honest, meditative, and truly funny manner, utterly devoid of self-pity. And as she recovers, she begins to realize that this unexpected and devastating event has provided a catalyst for coming to terms with her true self—and, in a way, has allowed her to become the person she’s always wanted to be.

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    • Kirkus

      November 15, 2016
      The stroke that hit Lee at age 33 left no visible signs of trauma, but it still changed her life forever.A decade ago, the stealthy heart condition secretly lurking deep within the author since birth created a blood clot that shot through her body and lodged itself in her head, where "it killed a part of my brain." Lee was standing in a hardware store parking lot at the time, thinking how odd it was that the shiny red snowblowers on display were suddenly and inexplicably "rotated ninety degrees." What follows is the author's emotionally explicit and intensely circumspect chronicle of how she dealt with what doctors later determined to be a thalamic stroke. "In those first few weeks," writes Lee, "I was lost without knowing I was lost. I was searching with a deep belief that all would be well, not out of resilience or hope but out of ignorant bliss....My world was that [hospital] room, and in that room my struggles had little measured impact." Unable to retain information, suffering from aphasia, and repeatedly rereading the same page of Slaughterhouse-Five over and over again, Lee eventually realized that she had to learn to confront older, deep-seated attitudes about her body and brain. She contemplates the years slavishly devoted to using her prized brain to subdue a seemingly undesirable body. That introspection, in turn, opened new doorways onto troubled relationships with her traumatized parents and increasingly distant husband. Forced to compensate for the dead part of her brain, Lee slowly achieved a new sense of gratitude for the body she had previously so reviled and mistreated. The journey of self-discovery is given an illuminating boost when the hole in her heart is finally repaired. With careful thought and new understanding, the author explores the enduring mind-body connection with herself at the nexus of it all. A fascinating exploration of personal identity from a writer whose body is, thankfully, "no longer at war."

      COPYRIGHT(2016) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Booklist

      January 1, 2017
      At 33, Lee suffered a stroke that would alter the course of her life. After ignoring her symptoms for days, Lee went to the hospital and learned devastating newsa hole in her heart allowed a clot to travel to her brain, restricting the flow of oxygen. Part of her brain was dead. The woman who used to memorize license plates for fun could no longer remember a conversation she had 15 minutes ago. Over the months and years to come, Lee faced a difficult recovery. Completely dependent on her husband, Lee's only outlets were her writing and the notes she diligently kept. This fearless memoir is pieced together using these writings, Lee's only memories of the months after the stroke. Her engaging chronicle not only tells the story of one woman's recovery but also makes a difficult topic accessible and relatable. Lee expertly explains how the brain works and how even a damaged brain can adapt. Her narrative is both scientific and emotional, revealing the wonders of biology and the power of the human spirit.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2017, American Library Association.)

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